Smart Mouth!

Love...

To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die. ~Thomas Campbell

Dedicated to J.A.V. always in my heart...forever

 

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.  ~William Penn

Words, Inspiration, Hope

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality. -Dante Alighieri, poet (1265-1321)

My Heart Breaks...again

I can say my heart is breaking but I think it has been broken a long time ago when I understood that children are not always loved or protected. Today I can’t even fully cry for beautiful 5-year-old- Shaniya Davis, because I feel like I let her down simply by my silence. I went to see a very brave woman (Anti-war activist, Author, Afghan MP, Feminist, Visionary, Humanitarian, and Freedom Fighter) last night; her name is Malalai Joya She has survived 5 assassination attempts and refuses to live in exile. She lives in Afghanistan, from safe house to safe house, and speaks out, speaks the truth despite the fact that this may cost her her life. She said two famous and powerful quotes that I will use as a rallying call to motivate me into true action for the rights of children and sex abuse and exploitation. The two quotes were: “Silence of the good people is worse than the actions of the bad,” and “It’s better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.”

Shaniya's story (well I will say the end of her life, because her story is bigger and more beautiful than just the horrible last month) I will unfortunately never forget. There have been stories dating back to when I was a teenager that still linger with me. And I will never get the image of him carrying this little girl into the motel room, and the look on her face.  My question to everyone is WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

Every time this happens we say the same damn things, "They’re in Gods hands now." “They’re in a better place." She is in a better place but did she have to be raped by a grown man and strangled to get there? Did she have to be “rented out” as a sex slave by her sick demented drug addicted mother. How about all the kids being prostituted or molested, video taped, and exploited right now in our homes and family homes? We need to speak out people. We need to get involved. I get so confused, sad, and feel helpless every time I hear about one of these situations. Then I start to wonder about all the ones we never hear about.

I still don’t know exactly what to do but I will begin to pitch magazines and hope I can use my writing to spread awareness and outrage everyone enough so that we can get away from these silly issues like denying gay couples their right to marriage and instead grant our children their right to justice.

 

 

Man to Man-Beyond Borders changes the discussion

Beyond Borders begins its Man to Man launch against Child Sex Trafficking and Exploitation today and they are changing the discussion in a major way.

For too long now the discussion has focused on the victims alone, ironically this has allowed the demand side (the johns themselves) to slip into the background thus allowing the problem to skyrocket. Now with famous men such as Jason Priestley (above) and Jacques Villeneuve amongst others, men are coming out to speak to other men and say once and for all that the sexual abuse, exploitation, and trafficking of children and women is wrong (besides illegal and depraved).

As the Beyond Borders press release states: Man to Man is the first campaign of its kind with respect to sexual exploitation, “Most public awareness campaigns about child sexual abuse have focused on the victim,” explains Beyond Borders President, Rosalind Prober. “That’s obviously important but we’ve ignored trying to tackle the demand side of the issue. This campaign changes that.”

 

The importance of this campaign words cannot express. For men to stand up and say sex with children is immoral is not only a beautiful act of solidarity but it also moves this destructive act from simply being a child/woman problem versus man issue and places it where it should be as an act against humanity. Sex with children is a violation of human rights and it is a detriment to what it means to be not only a man but a human being. It takes the discussion outside of women driven organizations into bars and locker rooms. Beyond Borders says it best: “We hope to mobilize the vast majority of men who have no tolerance with the small percentage of their gender responsible for more than 90% of sexual crimes against children both in Canada and abroad. Those perpetrators make up what we call the DEMAND. Without those willing to use children for their sexual pleasure and profit, this abuse would not exist.  Demand drives all forms of sexual exploitation including child sex tourism, child Internet luring, child pornography and trafficking, impacting the lives of countless children in Canada and around the globe. Stop the DEMAND and the SUPPLY (the victims) will be allowed their right to grow up emotionally and physically healthy. It is as simple as that.”

 

I think I fall in love every time a wonderful honest man comes forth to defend the vulnerable even if it means breaking the “man code.” The man code is a lot like that tacky phrase “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Men often feel that it is not their place to scold other men about their private lives but sex with children and trafficked women is not about men's right to live whichever life they choose, this is about the most vulnerable members of our world’s rights being ripped away from them and crushed.

 

So I would like to say to Jason Priestley (shout out 90210 90’s style) and Jacques Villeneuve and Manoj Sood (Little Mosque on the Prairie actor) and writer Victor Malarek (who I have blogged about previously) and all the others that will join this fight and help change the lives of millions that I am so proud of men like you and thank you.

 

Check out Beyond Borders website for more information: www.beyondborders.org

 

When Racists come home to Roosts: Rush Limbaugh NFL Bid Denied!!!!!

Anyone who is considered a "minority" understands the fine line we walk between being brave enough to own who we are in a society that devalues us at every turn while also not allowing that same society to define who we are or who we can be. My skin color is always the first sign that people use to decide, and sometimes tell me, who I am, what my priorities and beliefs are. They are often wrong and surprised but nonetheless they try.

 

Last year when I spent some time in California during the Obama/McCain presidential run I was very weary whenever someone would ask a black person either on TV or even during social settings, who they were voting for. If the black person replied Obama there was sometimes this little smirk of "Of course you will." As if all black people needed was any old black person to run for president and that would guarantee their vote (ask Jessie Jackson how true this assumption is). Anyway what I found interesting was few white people I spoke to felt the need to justify why they were voting for McCain (if they were) and one or two became defensive when explaining their vote for McCain rather than Obama and seemed pretty peeved that they even had to justify anything. I realized the frustration was natural; having to justify their vote was something completely new to them considering this new context. Until last year it was always white man against white man, there was no need to worry about women or black/Hispanic candidates. This brings me to the recent drop of Rush Limbaugh's NFL ownership bid. I believe that here we are seeing one of the most dramatic scenes of race and racism being played out on TV.

 

When Limbaugh's bid was announced shock waves went through the sports world. Though Limbaugh is an avid sports fan he is also a well known bigot and misogynist. I will say that I don't think him being a Republican has anything to do with him also being misogynist and bigot. I have many friends who are conservatives and though we disagree on many things they are some of the kindness, generous people in my lives, so please do not take my rant as a rant against Republicans. No my rant is simply directed to this disgusting man and all others like him. Anyway when the NFL announced Limbaugh's bid players like Giants defensive end Mathias Kiwanuka and Jets linebacker Bart Scott spoke out (thank goodness). Kiwanuka said, "I don't want anything to do with a team that he has any part of. He can do whatever he wants, it is a free country. But if it goes through, I can tell you where I am not going to play."

 

Good old Limbaugh used this rejection of him to discuss his President (he’s always bringing it back to what matters) and his fears about the direction of the country since Obama became president. "What is happening to the National Football League, what is about to happen to it, has already happened to Wall Street, has already happened to the automobile business," Limbaugh said, claiming he had been done in by the media's "blind hatred." Limbaugh believes he is the authentic representation of America, true Americans that is, and this rejection of his money and beliefs is obviously a rejection of American values. Oh Rush you’re so right. Which self-respecting black man wouldn’t want to work for a man who refers to them as gang members without weapons? And I find it hilarious that he used the term “blind hatred.” Maybe he’s acknowledging that his hatred is not blind, its sees everything and hates it accordingly.

For those who don't know Limbaugh was once a sportscaster and he was fired from ESPN over racist comments regarding Philadelphia Eagles’ quarterback Donovan McNabb. I recently learned that the quarterback position was a unspoken white position on many football teams, black players were not viewed as "intelligent enough" to succeed in this position.  Limbaugh was threatened by McNabb's potential and ultimate success (I guess Obama is his new McNabb) and let the world know. Limbaugh is also the man who said, "Look it, let me put it to you this way. The NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it."

 

During this whole NFL fiasco Limbaugh also insinuated that he was guaranteed that his bid was assured. “"I said to him at this meeting, 'Are you aware of the firestorm (this will lead to)?' He said, 'We wouldn't have approached you if we hadn't taken care of that,'" Limbaugh said, adding that Checketts told him the green light had come from the "highest levels" of the league.

The old boys club at work, huh. Sweet! Thanks for letting us know Limbaugh, especially for us girls who are never invited to these private meetings. Speaking of the old boys club, The New York Daily news reported that, “In 2002, Limbaugh was among the chorus of critics of Martha Burk, who fought an unsuccessful battle to compel Augusta National, a private club and home of the Masters, to admit women to its ranks of members.” And they quoted him as saying, "I loved what Hootie Johnson and the membership did," Limbaugh told Golf Digest after Johnson, then the club's chairman, refused to discuss the issue of women members with Burk. "Most clubs would have cowed in fear and called a meeting to reach a 'common goal' and all that. Not Augusta National." Well the NFL didn’t cow in fear either, even after you forced them to drop your bid rather then dropping it yourself therefore making it public, which I am assuming you thought would make them look bad rather then you. So how does it feel Limbaugh? How does it feel?

Limbaugh’s paranoid, finger-pointing-conspiracy-theory-hate-mongering is such common responses by men like him towards anyone who dares stands up against them and say, “I will not tolerate your hatred and now buddy I don’t have to.” These small minded angry men start swinging.  It's everybody's fault but there’s. Its President Obama's fault, as if dealing with two wars is not enough, he's just so concerned over where this flabby fool wants to spend his money. It’s the players fault for not wanting to be his mules. Any group or person who finds themselves losing control over people they always believed was their right to own will lash out, especially when the desire for control did not come from a place of humanity but rather of hatred and oppression.

What concerns Limbaugh is that his agenda was DENIED. This is a man who has no tolerance or appreciation or respect for people who are not white, straight, and Republican. Why didn't he create his own all white team? Or can he muster up some tolerance for blacks and other minorities when he can make some money off of them? In the past, in the greater part of history, men like Limbaugh were not only not questioned about their desires or agendas, but all their requests and demands were viewed as their natural right, a natural right that stole the dignity of many people. Now when players stand up and say, “I will not tolerate working for a man who does not respect my humanity,” this assertion is viewed as a political agenda. Limbaugh when did one's humanity have a price? I'm glad these players stood up and forced the NFL to drop his bid. Let Limbaugh play plantation master somewhere else, or better yet keep it in his fantasy world.

 

For a much better look at Rush Limbaugh's pathetic bid click on the link below:

http://trueslant.com/level/2009/10/06/get-ready-for-rush-limbaugh-the-worst-pro-football-team-owner-in-the-world-st-louis-rams-checketts-nfl/

Words, Inspiration, Hope

 

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.  Aldous Huxley

Sigg Water Bottles and their dirty little secret....

I was one of those happy people to jump on the no plastic water bottles bandwagon and I still hate plastic water bottles. My first reusable water bottle was the gorgeous stylish Sigg bottles. I proudly carried it around everywhere, bought one for each member of my family and convinced a few friends to go plastic free.

About a year into using the Sigg bottle I developed a weird soreness/bruise on my lip. I thought it was possibly lip gloss but even when I stopped using it the bruise was still there. I went to the doctor and soon realized that the bruise was exactly where the rim of my Sigg bottle was placed when I drank from it.

I immediately stopped using it and when I went to L.A. I bought a great stainless steel water bottle from Coffee Bean and haven't had a problem since.

Then two weeks ago I heard on the news that Sigg admitted that bottles made before 2008, were made with traces of BPA, a toxic plastic. This has caused huge outrage amongst the many (ex) Sigg fans. This shocked me. It also upset me because my brother and mother still use the Sigg bottles I bought three years ago.

After doing some investigation I saw that  Sigg is allowing people to return the bottle for an exchange to the new BPA-Free (For real this time?) bottles. But I was not going to pay to send my bottle to them to get another one of their bottles. I do not want to support them what-so-ever anymore. Thankfully, I came across a message from Whole Foods stating that they will allow Sigg water bottle users to return it to their store for a full refund. I guess they will then send it to Sigg themselves to get their money back. Thank goodness for Whole Foods.

I quickly grabbed my mothers and brother's bottle and I still have my sister's and my bottle from a few years ago, so I will be returning all four this week and getting them stainless steel ones. They may not be as pretty but at least their exactly what they claim to be.

All Sigg bottle users, return it, and buy from a more honest company.

When women are as dangerous as the men they love.....

I am always shocked, outraged, and saddened in a way I cannot explain when I hear stories of the rape, abuse, exploitation of children (and women) and hear that another woman is involved. I just read about the case of the California woman, abducted at 11, who was recently discovered by police. She is now 29 and has two teenagers for the 58-year-old-man who kidnapped her 18 years ago. The first thing that came to my mind was, how many people are being held hostage (around the world) under these same circumstances? But then I read that his wife, who met him while he was in jail serving 10 years of a 50 year sentence for rape and abduction, was there when he kidnapped the girl 18 years ago, and lived with him as husband as wife, while he kept this young woman as his sex slave and mother of his children. This is reminiscent of the Karla Homolka case, where a woman takes part in the abduction of younger girls (though that case was gruesome on levels I pray I will never be able to fully comprehend). This case also reminds me of the Austria case of the father who drugged and held captive his own daughter for 20 years, making numerous babies with her, and her own mother (his wife) lived a seemingly clueless life upstairs. How about the recent case of the little Stratford Ontario girl lured away and kidnapped by the 18 year-old girl then handed over to the girl's boyfriend and later murdered. The sight of that innocent little child holding the young woman's hand and skipping away with her will never leave me.

I remember the time when I was still naive and believed that the safest place to run if you were in danger was to another woman, an older woman. Unfortunately, I understand that they can sometimes be as dangerous as the men. What makes them so dangerous is the fact that we do not question women in regards to their part in the abuse of children and other women.

There is also this disturbing thing that happens amongst some women where they either turn a blind eye to the abuse happening right under their nose or they get resentful and competitive with the child being sexually abused and neglect them all together. I am so tired of these women saying, "I didn't know what he was doing..." I see so many instances where women are so preoccupied with who their husbands and boyfriends are looking at on the street, flirting with on my-space, hitting on at work, but they never seem to ask what is my husband doing after he watches that internet porn. What is he doing when he gets up at night for twenty minutes? Why is my child acting differently? One of the most chilling stories I ever heard was when a sex chat worker said she finished a call with a man and said to him, "Now you can go wake up your wife and have a little fun." And he said, "My wife's sleeping. I'm going to my daughter." She said she was so traumatized by this event she stopped working as a sex worker and became an activist.

I recently learned about a case where a New York Rabbi had sexually abused his own daughter, serious, serious abuse, for many many years. He seemed to have a fixation with her and went to great lengths to continue the abuse even when she went off to a private school for high school. She is now in her twenties and had the courage to go to the police and report the abuse after her mother encouraged her to do so. What is shocking about this case is the mother testified that she had walked into her daughter's room, and found her husband and their daughter in bed under the covers. He admitted they were naked from he waist down but said nothing was happening. She left the room shocked but never brought it up again. This man had raped, sodomized, and abused this girl for years and the mother knew. She denied what she knew but she knew and later after they were divorced she encouraged the daughter to report it. If I found a man or a woman with any child like that I would be calling 911 so fast their head would spin. And this is if I had enough self control not to attack them first.

I am glad that the law is beginning to recognize the complicated relationship between male predators and the women who love them, because in some cases these women are predators themselves and should not escape punishment simply because they are women who pretend not to have known.

Words, Inspiration, Hope

 

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi

From the Bronx to the Supreme Court!!

 

 

Sonia Maria Sotomayor has been confirmed to the high court of justice. She is now the 3rd female to ever be a Supreme Court Judge and the first woman of color (She is hispanic).

Very exciting! Congratulations Judge Sotomayor!